ModerN AgE

You know its true what they say
This age is the time to experiment new mixtures and cross new boundaries.
This age is the time to wreak havoc on everyone and question your values
This age is to fall in love and sacrifice
To murder faith and rebel on rules
This age is to look at night and see plain darkness
And to revel in the glory of never ending confusion
This age is the age to discover, explore and walk in fields of gold
This age is when your beliefs are on auction...at the end they are sold.
This is the age to experience for oneself the trials and tribulations of reality
This is the age...to search for meaning and to try to find...me.
to understand faith and to collect upon squandering poverty
to try to find completion but never really becoming whole
to cry when tears won't wipe themselves away
to sing and laugh, to run around and play
this is the age where good things have to be let loose
and where some just will never start....
this is the time where all your actions influence your future
and your memories remain in the past...
to meet new people who interests you but never get attention back
to look into the mirror and cry...questioning all the while
this is the time to laugh a million times...
cry two million times....
and open your eyes to realisation...for the first time.

tommorrow

tommorrow is a new day
fresh as dew, clean as may
once the sadness passes over me
i know i'll be able to see

time changes everything, surrounding turn to stone
Nature and everything green want to be left alone
but cars they will make, and buildings they will form
and life here will continue move on

a bell just rung, the maids are moving
the stopwatch has paused the bells are ringing
alarm has struck and panic is reigning
whenever it rains it'll continue pouring

suddenly it stopped all things stop moving
my room was still, the atoms as well
for there is silence before and after a storm....

i went through the thunder, fought through the war
but in the end i didn't get what i was fighting for

tommorrow will be a new day
and the film and pictures will play
life, i will keep on riding its saddle
but i won't be waiting drenched in my puddle
For Reality pulled me from it
and i am learning to live independently for me.....

tommorrow will be a fresh new day
why tonight, i see the new buds of may?

DISMISSED

Can you keep up?
Baby boy, make me lose my breath
Running fast, make me lose my breath
You act so duh, make me lose my...
OOOh I put it right there, made it easy for you to get to
Now you wanna act like ya don't know what to do
After I done everything that you asked me
Grabbed you, grind you, liked you, tried you
Moved so fast baby now I can't find you
OOOh I'm startin' to believe that I'm way too much for you
All that talk but it seems like it can't come through
All them lies like you could satisfy me,
Now I see where believing you got me
Gave you the wheel, but you can't drive me
OOOh Two things I don't like when I tryin' to get my groove
Is a partna that meets me only half way and just can't prove
Take me out so deep when you know you can't swim
Need a lifeguard and I need protection
So put it on me deep in the right direction
OOOh You understand the facts that I'm tryin' to give to you
You movin' so slow like you just don't have a clue
Didn't mama teach you to give affection?
You're the difference of a man and an adolescent
It ain you boo, so get tha steppin'
If you can't make me say
OOOLike the beat of this drum
Why you ask for some and you really want none
If you can't make me say
OOOLike the beat of this groove
You don't have no business in this here's your papers
Baby you are dismissed, dismissed, dismissed, dismissed, dismissed, dismissed, dismissed

ManneQuinS

there is a guy passing by a shop with different colour shirts hanging for display in the window of the clothes shop.......i am the mannequin dressed up nicely in a yellow shirt and brown pants all ready to be bought and taken away..........
im waiting...on display...he's pondering whether to buy the shirt im wearing or not... he wants to try the suit first see how it fits....how it clicks....will it look good on him or not.....now me.
me....saw a top i like while window shopping....didn't have enough money to buy it....don't understand? let's just say i don't want to try the suit just want to buy it immediately...but i can't afford it....i'll have to patiently wait for my pay or allowance to save up to buy that beautiful top...while saving i see if i want the suit or not......i'm desperately trying to buy it...but i MUST wait....
now i'm sick and tired of waiting for the top....and its novelty has worn off...somehow its still on display but not really meant for me now....soon the fashion will change and it will be taken off the mannequin, there goes my lost top.....my dream dissapearing to the box neatly stored up in the attic of the shop......
we all know hearts can change....nothing lasts forever in the cold november rain. but would i regret not buying the top? sadly the answer is a yes....i will still wish it was mine.
understand?

hearing the dim voices of people behind barred doors i understand their pain,the torment the have to face while being chained....someday people may stop and think....someday they will realise that all their fantastical dreams of superiority will fade away and that love is lost along the path travelled....people will continue to torture and hurt the little princess and she will still not realise what truth is in their words and what falseness is in her eyes....being a hypocrite means that you deserve hypocrisy from others....i believe that being a hypocrite means that you deserve the truthful tale of uncountable offences towards others.....learn a lesson.....look deep inside.....and try to change petite sly witch....i understand the pain you face but i don't want to help....because when i cried your shoulder was not there to lean on.....

Pulangkan

sometimes you wonder about what you did wrong...how you can change yourself...sometimes it's a sin from God when you find out different types of crap all at the same time...like today...i know im going to cry...i know it but do i care? not really....i mean for me i think the world is ending...the signs have all shown it...just me and my lonely thoughts....but really what did i do wrong?
somehow you feel that there really must be something wrong with the way your life is planned and it has nothing to do with who you are just everyone around you are just....well plainly just trying their best to screw your life up...make your day worst than it already is....having a law test in thirty minutes and i already know that im gonna have to make hommous for Oon Yow..i wish it was humus......see? im all ready to tear at my skin just like the people suffering from smallpox...ok well this a beautiful malay song dedicated to Banana....let's just say he's been hanging on my thoughts and its annoying me....
Pulangkan cinta hatiku
Oh pulangkan oh pulangkanlah padaku
Kupulangkan resah hidupmu
Yang dikau musnah tanpa relaku
Bebaskanlah maafkan daku oh kasih
Tiada kemaafan di sini
Kau ragut degupan hatiku ini
Akan ku jejakimu ke mana jua
Hingga ke akhir masa sayang......

im not a stalker....i just wish somehow i could annoy him as much as he annoys me....ARGH!!

pond

summertime and the rythm is churning
maybe its mine...but somehow im fuming
the past should be left for the past
my last should remain my last
so how can i move on ahead?
its sideways im moving instead
love can make you drown
i feel almost suffocated
so why did you make me wait...
waiting by the side...praying and hoping
all i know is that i didn't make it....
im already dead.
sorry you were to late....

Souls APart

travelling down a well worn path...turning my head around. where do i turn? where do i go? Up? down? Left? right?
there you are! i smile joyfully that i'd seen you....but you gaze at me with a distance, a void seen through you eyes. A tense silence...a foot stands between our bodies. How do you feel with so much passion? cry at regular intervals? write such philosophical lame thoughts down? i know who you are....i feel your pain, i feel your happiness, your laughter and your tears...and you know about mine too.
i taste your lips, hug your pillow at night, gaze up to see that stars that shine for you and you alone, i poke your eyeballs and your adipose cells on your stomach....i look at your mirror and i just stare.
i know your sad frustrating tales, your joyful happy stories and your amazing friends and family. i know you. i know where you live, where you eat, what is your handphone number, your whiny depressed self and your hyper happy one......
i am travelling the well worn path to college....don't know where to turn cause i lost sight of you.....where do i go? forward? or Backwards? oh there you are! my day is complete....we melt into one.......
i am your body and you are my soul....i make your half and you make mine.
Noura i love you, i hope you love me too
written by Noura....

Stories

you believe all their lies and hypocritical illusions
you gloat due to untruths and false assumptions
your pride doth need to be brought to safe ground
for it will float too high to be seen or found
people gossip and tell you i like you alot
somehow,i dunno if i should laugh or not
but you didn't laugh you believed their tricks and deceptions
you never once thought of my feelings, my emotions
when i seek for friendship with a well meaning heart
all you wish is for me to be apart.

p.s. this is also inspiration....my lovelife is quite the dead.

dripping water

the tap dripping slowly...drip by drip...leaving it like that for a few days,weeks, months...the tap could hydrate 100 of the babies who are victims of the tsunami.
why are some people filthy rich that they can afford to cloth themselves in silk garment worth a hundred pounds but still manage to turn a blind eye to the victims of the tsunami....not all...but most.
my recent trip to Surabaya for a cousins wedding really opened my eyes to the suffering of the poor...but sadly all i can do now is donate and study.....donate and study....feeling all helpless...maybe my money wouldn't reach the homeless....who knows?
why are white people treated like lords from Kingdom Kong and pariahs treated like dirt? why do people with money always get better treatment than those without? isn't money just another piece of paper printed with this ink with the smell that i love.(love the smell of money!)
why is there such a thing as royalty? and how can 56,565,700 people can be so dumb as to appoint George Bush as their leader....AGAIN? There are billions of questions to ask....i think i finallly understand it all.....i think i can finally comprehend dripping water.

Noura's Wonderful Theory:
Lives are ruled by the unwritten laws created from society and the self-imposed rulebook called conscience. I awaken from my sweet comfortable slumber, awake enough to swim against the currents of life that many people float along ignorantly....
There i see my grandmother, my mother, sisters, aunties.....why can't i follow their lead? why am i forcing my tired body to swim in the opposite direction? because i know something and i remind myself about it everyday...i have learnt to love life everyday due to this knowledge.
Some people don't care about it, most fear it, a minority want to experience it. But whatever the name...the Grim Reaper, Heaven or Hell...whatever it's called whatever the reactions are when mentioned...many cry....many laugh...too old to be afraid.
i call it death and i finally comprehend dripping water.

for whatever the cause, intentions and beliefs that are experienced through lifes and the many stupid questions i will continue to ask due to my poor inability to research for myself...and install into my little cute brain. whatever happens, pain, joy, laughter,tears,richer,poorer, handsome,ugly,bright,dark........whatever happens...'that's life' and society will never change no matter how many feminists there are in the world, no matter how many vegetarians in the world, no matter how many Mother Theresa's there are....of course it will make a little difference but think about it....which date are you gonna remember....9/11 or 12/26? many people forgot the day of the tsunami attacks and when USA occupy the iraqi territory. i dunno...do you? i ask alot of ignorant teenagers do you remember when iraq was bombed....guess what they replied....." i dunno".....then i ask when was the day the twin towers got hit and...in a heartbeat..."9/11 lah!"
i still think society wouldn't change and thats my theory....have faith...practice faith and believe in yourself....remember that one day we will all turn to dust....step boldly up to this judgemental, hypocritical,inane world we call home. didn't the tsunami create any impact?

sadly i decide that dripping water will continue dripping and im tired of thinking and swimming by myself....i float away...in the current i will stay...remembering that one day..i will die and go wherever He wants me too.

Sunburnt

Life brings you to this kind of pitforks where in order to choose you would have to break your own heart.
That’s where I am right now… in order to choose I have to break the very essence that made me.
I have to go against the tides and ego for love, true love I thought, boy was I wrong.
Why do some people change your life in a way never thought possible… they come they conquered and then left.
They took control of your emotions and your thoughts…made you loose your appetite and made you weak.
Then they decide to move on with life and you are lost in the sea of their life…floating ashore, a sun burnt log a drifting in that vast body of never ending water.
My heart is breaking, with every word I'm saying…I gave up everything I had on something that I thought would last…
In order to get the rainbow you have to go through the rain…in order to get Mr. Perfect I have to go through the bad eggs of men.
Too bad for women my own age…they are so tired of wasting time on someone that never treats them the way they should be treated.
So now I am riding solo on this quest of life spending time now for me and not for anybody else…living my life for who I am…asking questions and not caring about the consequences.
I don't want to know if faith and destiny will permit you to move forward…or if you are playing me…but I am not a game of soccer and I deserve better.
Goodbye to you and to all mankind for now..
Life brought me to those pitforks but I made up my mind and I decided to move onwards…moving ahead…its best for me…for you to leave.

p.s.based on inspiration