List

1) Amal is having Adil Ryan.....today.

2) Yasmin's Birthday is......today.

3) Aunt I threw up four times......today.

4) Aunt Elly and Uncle Yahya leaves.....today.

5) Shabrina's plan is in motion......today.

6) Dave's Cd will be done......today.

7) Got to babysit the children cause I promised.....today.

8) Meet Rasheed for dinner.....today.

9) Krystal coming over for sleepover.....today.

10) Thinking about Prince Breakfast.......today.
and always.

Brothers

I hope the days come easy and the moments past slow......
My wish for you is that this life becomes all that you want it to.
Your dreams stay big, your worries stay small.....
And while you're out there getting where you're getting to.....
I hope you know somebody loves you.
And wants the same things too.....


Gosh to love someone with that much passion and care.......I know for a fact that Debbie probably felt this way about his younger brother. My gosh to put emotions into words, their love was so true, so pure, so loving, so everything a brother should be....I mean where in the world have you seen a young man of nineteen constantly mollycuddling his younger brother and passionately and truly crying goodbye......tears pouring down.

My gosh, I realised something else....that kind of love I do possess, but how many people are truly blessed to have that much love and care? How many in this world today? Whole families going to the airport to wish goodbye......a huge clan, with us three and the friends.

I swear that moment when I viewed Dave being so caring and loving......I almost wished that this dude was Arab, twenty something and looks like breakfast. But of course he turns out to be my little bro....but I realised something also.......not many arab men are like that, they are too afraid of showing and displaying their emotions. To tear shows weakness, and their egos are too huge to show any weaknesses.......ok generalising now.....but as far as I know.......

Somedays I wonder, how do we stumble into our seperate lives and scratch around trying to make sense of what we have?? Why did HE position us this way??

Love makes the world go round, and love makes the world go down......but for me, love is love. You make your world go round or down......decide your life and the final word is this, Brotherly love. Very important. Sisterly Love. Even more so. =)

To Anonymous,

Weeee.....finally an anonymous commentor......well....to anonymous.....that was written like two years ago in one of my diary excerpts......anyways....I am now no longer in the back seat of the car.....I am the driver of my own destiny and well I realised something else too!!

There is no difference between male and female companionships, its the same thing, I was cured of love through friendship......and I guess that's all that matters huh??

No fresh perspective, no difference of opinions, no change of characters, just people who can tolerate being with you and you can tolerate being with them. Realising that love is and always will be with you, not a man's love no doubt, just love, the deepest kind. I used to say, I am an Unlucky, Fat arsed arab teenager, but in fact I am one of the most luckiest type......and now typing this before a new semester begins, relishing the fact that while life may deal many blows and squander all my money away, Life is a gamble. And I have got the best people around me to help me regain all the losses that I've encountered. All the happiness that I've taken for granted and all the dreams I thought would not come true.....they will be there for me and I will be there for them.....insyALLAH. Thus quoting a famous person by the name of Shabrina Hyder....It's like that like.....(lolxz) Love her alot....

Eyesight

There is this phase where everyone would pass in life where, you want to feel loved and needed but at the same time you're all out for fun. So where are you really? Stuck in the middle somewhere, confusion and loneliness intermingles with the thirst of adventure and the unknown. So how can you move ahead? and how can you turn back? There comes this day where all you see is colours, different myriads of shapes crossing the sky, lightning flashes, distant thunder rolls darkly. Those stuck in the car and driving without a purpose down a slippery winding road. the raindrops patter the roof, of course back at the passenger seat, so you can view the world passing by quickly.

Y'know i always thought that i could find someone who can be seen as a true man. A person who would make friends with all people no matter their physical appearance and tolerate the atttitudes that suck. Someone who cared deeply for a cause other than sex. Though in these times, that kindda person is hard press for money. Not that i'm desperately searching and seeking someone to love, no, just to be friends with, cause i'm so sick of female companionship. Somedays, you need a fresh perspective. well, that's all i guess.

In order to finally be humans we gotta know what humans should be.
I seem to be looking for completion in all the wrong places, maybe my eyesight has gone bad, but maybe the signs are not pointing in the right path.

Goodnight, but is it really a good night?

Crash

An empty room can be so deafening, The silence makes you want to scream.

Really, sometimes you realise that hormonal imbalances can trigger a different opinion to the normal or should I say 'normal' person. But at the end of the day it is the differences that makes life interesting. The fact of the matter is, the world is lacking in love, we need more love in this world. We are surrounded by destruction and wars, all we actually need is hope and love, two things that there's just too little of. Why is this world temporary? To make any difference one must disrespect their religion and go towards sinning and debauchery. Somedays life seems too simple, other days it gets complicated. Very complicated.

Screaming right now, listening and observing the CRASH of society. Crash, the ideology of crash is how people categorise and stereotype society into. C stands for Class, R stands for Race, A stands for Age, S stands for Sex and H stands for Handicap and the world thought that it was just a great movie about racism. There it is, my lesson for today, my examination for tommorrow and the stillness of the unwelcomed night. July 15th 2007, many newlyweds today. They will never be left in an empty room devoid of emotion and passion. They will never want to scream, know why? Cause they'll be fighting all the time.

An empty room can be so deafening. The silence makes you want to scream.

AAAH! There I screamed.

Changes

The happiest women, like the happiest nations, have no history. A quote by the grand master George Eliot, to live happy is to live in ignorance. Is it better to be happy and forgotten or upset and living through the history pages? I will make a difference in the world to atleast 222,222,222 people. Yes, that is my vow.....I know I can't change the world but well atleast 222,222,222 people will know about me and my quest to save them from wrecking havoc upon themselves. Humanity and the human soul will win, the truth is out there and inside every one of us.

Same Men

Here's to the men that we love,
Here's to the men that love us,
But the men that we love,
Will never love us,
So fuck all men.......
HERE'S TO US!!

Selfish Souls

-Love Thyself for no one else doth love thee true-

To kill the selfish life, is it a virtuos thing or not?
And to strangle an innocent child, is it a crime or not?
Somehow the lines between right and wrong,
Life and death,
Have been blurred.
Is this maturity?


To ponder upon the greatest of creation, and praise it endlessly
And to mock and disgrace the ones judged the lesser
Somehow the boundaries between judging and opinions,
Failures and wins
Have been blurred.
Is this maturity?


To jump on the next train and leave parents that love you
And to go and meet the parents who leave you
Somehow the barriers between responsibility and bravery
Have been blurred.
Is this maturity?


Thus the final word is this
that it is not what is yours, its what you miss
The act of love or
that forbidden kiss
But most of all self-love is bliss.

Noura Talib

Goodbye Love

Pack all your bags, we're finished.
Leave the door open when you leave I want your smell gone.
I can't live waiting for you to come and sweep me off my feet again.
I realised I can't live with you.
I need to focus on me and my needs.
So now disappear because I know that I don't want you.
You're full of riddles that I can't comprehend.
So go away until I pick up that phone and call you to come.
For now, both of us know we will just harm each other.
Goodbye emotions.
Goodbye love.

Good Charlotte

AAAHH!! Yesterday night was sooo much fun!! Moshing and pushing and screaming for LO and GOOD CHARLOTTE!!! Weehooo!! It was one amazing night!! The moon and stars were up and there was not a drop of rain in sight!! And Joel Madden Looked directly at me for at least 3 times ok?? Well the best part was just hugging J.Lo and talking to him.....well practically stammering and forgetting my oh so great lines lar.....aiyo!! I love Jason Lo's Music.....and i think he looks waaay Better than the madden bros!! Sorry lar to my friends who think otherwise!! But he vely cute wan!!

So sad we didn't meet Mukey cause then we might have gotten to get backstage!! Aiyo!! Well our luck was still high lar....i mean we just got the normal tickets then they opened the gates to us to join VIP!! So all you have to do was push through to the front and wham bam kazaam!! I was in front of the stage screaming my lungs out for Lo!! But the funniest thing happened then too...there was this guy in front of me and he actually asked if he could go to the front and we said yes cause he said his friend was at our leftside which means we can still see the stage.....so ok lar....then this dude stands directly in front of me!!! What an idiot!! I mean you say your moving then move lar!! Then i told Su leng, Sherina and Nus well we are moshing so i can shove him away!! Then this dude turns around and says well you can buzz off if you want!! And then i just smiled and say no im fine where i am...well next i turned around and su leng was telling me about how she met good charlotte backstage and got their autographs and stuff....well....then this dude after Lo finished playing he turned around and asked me which school i was from!! What a freak right?? You just told a girl off and the next second he's like interested.....what a weirdo!! Anyhow....it was a great night!!

And i know for a fact that Lo and Joel Madden definetely looked at me!! Weeeeee!!! I'm on air.....oh and you most probably wondering how am i so sure....well while moshing you are all pushed everywhere right?? and he looked at me at all those places!!! Weeeee!! And if you r all wondering the lights will make him not see the crowd but there was no bright beam from the back....and we were all also bathed in the beams of lights shining from up!!!
So that means he can view us....this is the same for hitz fm birthday bash when reshmonu said that the girls in the front row were really hot!!! See he can see us!! So ya!! There you go!! And they weren't drunk!!! hahahhahaha!!


And well 5 best things yesterday night....
1) Hugging and talking to Jason Lo
2)Taking like 5 pictures with Jason Lo
3) Moshing in the crowd and having joel, benji and travis look at me!!!
4) Just screaming along and jumping with the crowd
5) Standing on the skyroof of Hadri's car speeding through the kesas!!!


p.s. New Short Term Dream--- Interviewing J.Lo....hmmm...
p.p.s. This is a very immature post....meaning the writing....

Toast

Have you ever wondered why people would prefer toast with jam or with sugar than toast with just plain butter?? This is not going to be one of the life is like a piece of string....or life is like a ball....or life is like a dream.....well basically non of the life is like (something with a personification here....)
This is merely an observation, and I have personally observed that life and toast are kindda alike.....I mean people in general want toast with a flavour yet some like it plain....some like toast hot, yet some wait long minutes for it to cool down before wanting a bite.life in general, my friends, is a complicated thing to comprehend and aliking it to toasted bread does not do life any justice......but I am not aliking life to toast Im displaying the similarities between us and toast.....although sometimes people like to eat jam or sugar....don't you ever get sick and tired of jam?? Or instead of strawberry wouldn't you like some marmalade instead?? And once you had a taste of marmalade would you ever go back to strawberry.....or would you ever go back to plain bread??

Ok well.....I'm just wondering why people stay in stale relationships for so long?? And what benefits do they get from having a relationship?? I
know you get someone to love.....to hold.....to be yourself with.....but what if that falls apart and well life then what happens to that?? Would you like the taste of plain bread now?? Cause the jam's finished and there's no more sugar in the cubboard......would you like that?? I dunno....I never really tasted good jam or amazingly sweet sugar to regret them finishing and leaving my life....well....I've always been one to prefer chocolate
spread...make that chocolate hazelnut spread....NUTELLA...yum yum!! And I have always got a stock of it in the cubboard. No matter what
people's preference are I've always got my hazelnut spread.....I love you chocolate spread. My life is in need of a change.....I need a change.....or a holiday....or something.
I just need to know if I should want jam or just the same old chocolate......


Why is life so complicated?? The mysterious strings that roll into thousand miles worth of memories and emotions.......

I miss tim. I miss krystal. I miss aya. I miss moh. I miss you.....and yet I don't even know who you are.....I miss you.

Oranges

You never know when life hits the unwanted curveball your way. You never understand what unrequited love feels like until it comes astrewn on your path. The way that love comes and yet how quickly it dissapears, its definetely scary.

Love, all my life there was just me and my dreams, spend my nights wondering how it would feel, when will today end and when will tommorrow start.

Somedays i would just sit alone and wonder, ponder about absurdity and insanity,pleading to my soul to resurrect the emotions lost along the way.

Sometimes the lights are turned down and the whole city sleeps tight at home, I alone wonder the darkened streets seeking a lightbulb to seek solace and grace in these upsetting nights. There doesn't seem to be anyone around me, just stillness. quiet contemplation, darkness turning into lights.

It ends tonight. It finally has.

p.s. I no longer love oranges! Sadder but wiser.
p.p.s. Written while overlooking the beautiful Jakarta skyscrapers at approximately 3am sitting at the balcony at tante Elly's house.

Jared leto

How far did he want to go?
Hiding in between potholes and drainpipes
The smell of the morning dew still fresh in the air
Newly mowed grass and stale lemonade
There he goes creeping past the neatly trimmed bushes
The cardboard houses with the white picket fences
A german shepherd suddenly yowls painfully
Its owner is dead. Simple. But where is he going to?

Running through the green school field the marching band is getting assembled
O there it goes, the mother's tears as the trumpeteer blows
Sadly the song continues playing
The drum rolls, bloody threats and hidden agendas
There the shadow runs, into a tower of sticks
he lies blinded in the destruction that he causes

The watery green pools above him do not drip...
O wait, there, a teardrop falls
drip, drip, drip.....
slowly.....the facets loosens its deathly grip
and as soon as the first drip came.....
he stays sprawled eagle
Face up towards the shining sun,
Shivering in the heat, knowing that soon the bonds will break

The green pools will part and flush his pain away
he will drown in the liquid that spills itself freely
the first wave comes, out it pours from all corners
squeezing his heart and finally with one last breath he smiles,
for he knew as he floats on the waves
that he finally found hope....

Then footsteps came through the side door
he got up and hurriedly wiped the tears away
screams pierce the air and sadness engulfs the raven's heart

~All things are beautiful when seen in darkness~

Mall Viewing

Sometimes you look at certain people in certain ways
Sometimes the ways that you look at them is the exact same way they look at themselves
Sometimes the way you look at them is the total opposite of how they look at themselves.But that's not for you to judge, its not for anyone to judge.But we still do.

That's why i love malls so much....you can look and view people from different cultures and characters. They all move in different directions. but another reason why i love malls so much is that you somehow feel a sense of belonging to it, like you can still be considered a part of society cause you are shopping with society.
You look to the left, there's the mother of two whose husband is cheating on her with her neighbour and the right there is the cousins who shop at mango and topshop and think anyone who shops at any other store are losers. In front the indonesian rich tourists laden filled with bags from guess, u2 and esprit....oh ya and braun buffel and vincci. How could i have forgotten them? then the whole teenage group of chingko kids, the girls in micro minis looking like Cinta from the movie ada apa dengan cinta (indonesian movie) and the guys in baggy t-shirts and almost all wearing specs and spiked up hairdos. (basically the kind you'll find in cyber cafes). And when you turn back there will always have to be the bunch of indian macha's who gape at my huge ass as if there's nothing huger than it! Well, there are all kinds of people in this world and the best part is without them all the stories that we view or read about wouldn't even be interesting.....i mean if everyone was wearing a plain white shirt and talking in monotonous english how could life have its flavour?? It loses all its tastebuds from being dull and tasteless.

Well ya, society will continue its judging and its analysing. But the sad thing is, they are never correct in their experimental observations. why? because people are unpredictable and HE always pulls different strings to keep the excitement up! Gish this needs alot of further explaining but i have not the time to waste right now.....later maybe....

Off

Can you believe my mum?? She wants me to marry someone whose Father's name is OFF?? I mean gimme a break and what about the mother?? Is her name On??
And the son name will probably be switch....lolz....you know so when i call my hubby it'll be switch where's off?? Or switch where's on?? Gosh this is soooo lame....but well i really don't feel like marrying....aiyoo...why can't life be easy?
Its simple Colin Farell will fall in madly in love with me when he sets eyes on me and decides i'm his 'the one' when he reads my column in the New York Times and everyone will be happy cause i'm happy and my mom will be thrilled to have an irish son-in-law and then we'll have a huge wedding with a horse carriage by the beach and i HAVE to wear a diamond filled tiara!! And then we'll live happily in the canary islands (of course we'll buy our own island!) and we'll make 6 georgeous babies and live happily ever after in our palace with 50 maids (oops i forgot the one before the 50 so that's 150 maids) and our own private shopping mall (where somerset bay and Borders will be the two largest stores)and we don't have to pay. there will also be julio Iglesias, tom jones and lene marlin singing whenever i want them to and oh very important.... a 7metres by 10metres chocolate fountain!! And ferrero rocher trees......oh ya and there must be these tabasco filled wells every 7 metres apart which has never ending tabasco sauce, with endless pizza and lasagna and horfun and tomyam kitchens everywhere. Oh and the best part in this world a woman can have two husbands so then my second hubby would be orlando bloom but only he has this really deep voice like vin diesel...hmmm....
Ok well....good dreams....now i have to content myself with a manicure with flowery prints and salad platters. Oh wait and loads of course work and revision cause exams are coming up.....ok yup thats about it....well son of 'off' i hope you're a good guy....we'll see.....

Momentary Glances

Momentary glances came through
foolish desires passing my bloody heart
pristine beaches line my imagination
supper for two unknown believers
pain cutting deeper into the abyss of hell
plunging myself head first into the searing flame
quietly the foootsteps of the doves patter on the ground
wings intertwine flying high cruelty of hypocrisy settles in my blood
Can a momentary glance do that?
ones selfish desires and pinpricks of affections
live in my veins pulsating full of imagination
looking this way and then turn a full circle
red blood stained my hands
anger supresses the reign of man
momentary glances at the train station....

Noura Talib...

Learnz

Well tonight was one interesting night. First things first, I'm pmsing and secondly i don't feel like shite for doing something 'bad' in societies standards. Well in fact, well look at this in a new way, i mean all i was trying to do was get my point across, i might have done it in a mean and evil and (nihaad's fave words) AGRESSIVE! well ya i do get passionate about these kindda things. how can you blame me? These people have arrogance and ignorance stuck in the fluff of their brains. And this mingled with the lack of understanding why society is sooooo important. i mean people can see for themselves if the girl is good or not. You help people in their homes and you don't seem rude then how can you even listen to yesterday's gossip? If i marry a malaysian royalty i bet you that no one would care about what i did today. You may think that im a loser but i don't really care. I lost on the knowledge of how to use tack when talking to people but hey i'm not really caring about the sadness in my life but really concerntarating on the happiness. And the sadness is that a whole lotta people that i chill with/ hang out with are a bunch of losers and they are ignorant bastards. Well neways i really can't care less.

I mean i got a right to be wrong, my mistakes will make me strong. I gotta mind of my own, im flesh and blood to the bone, see im not made of stone. i love that song cause its so true....i gotta right to be wrong, i mean people learn everyday right?


The weird thing is how dejavu this is with the whole taj and resham issue....you know you're wrong but at the end of the day you just learn more about society and how to deal with them. Its like the abc of growing up. You gotta past through all 26 alphabets. I've watched it all slowly and i realised something that everyone's life is so simple but the most simplistic life i have so far seen is the one in Surabaya. I mean all they do is laugh,talk and laugh some more. But my life isn't all that lacking in dramatics, i wish it was abs.


Well, the fortune teller told me that i will get published in the New York Times and have lots of babies. Oh wait, that was me reading my own palm.


Well ya, i know that my mom is worried about her rep for owning a very rude child. Well i know i am rude, if i wasn't i would be Liza.

I am the rudest child out of all their children.
I give my parents the most problems.
I am THE BLACK SHEEP!!


I like to think that i'm just suffering from some deficiency in manners. (think i spelt that wrongly) aka i am a spoilt child and really i was talking about it to one of my friends the other day and we were wondering what makes a spoilt child. Well i also like to think that i am just young and passionate about my beliefs, you know i realised something i always like people to believe what i believe in as well, i want them to be convinced. But half the time i always find out that they can't be swayed. and they will fight back. Well you know what? ? You learn something new everyday, like i just found out about how to delete viruses of your pen drive by just formatting it. Well you're talking to a new computer user lar....i'm still traditional and old-fashioned. Ahem ahem.....

Cards

Why issit that sometimes the flurry of everyday activities seem to hurry on somedays and slow down on others? It seems that whenever i get more religious, more exciting things seem to happen to me. Maybe for the worst or for the best but always for some reason....all i have to do is pray for the best no matter what. Well somedays life just seems as if nothing is going right and other days life seems to move forward....and the train does'nt slow down its engines to let you down, but you're really tired and you need a break....i want that burnout lifestyle...the mundane and ordinary is getting very boring...i need excitement...i need drama....well i am A DRAMA QUEEN!! hehe!! Anyways life still goes on mundane or passionately exhilirating but the best part is that even with all the toys of yesteryear....i still haven't entertained myself well enough.

Well there are a few things you'd like to know about arabs....they are very and i mean VERY hospitable...hahaha...no i don't mean their always in the hospital...no i mean the doors to their homes sentiasa terbuka, directly translated to their doors are always opened. And their smiles...oh their smiles. Old women especially love company...and they always smile when company's around....well thats how it is then. the super hospitable are all almost gone and what is left are a westernised,closed up part of humans which you never thought could be possible....well this is true for the Arabs of S'pore....mostly they are all concerntrated on brands and the fact that they only need to mix with crowds that have atleast a title. Haven't they heard of a saying that says Arrogance can destroy you?? Well My records have played and my uncles have drawn their cards...let me draw mine....3 Aces. I win.

There's gotta be more to life

Well abs....anyways, tonight was AMAZING!! Well actually yesterday night....we sat on the rooftop on my telok kurau house and they shisha'd and i ate crisps and choccies!! And we all listened to sweet music and the breeze was there and well....it was all good. A great night, the moon was full, the breeze was coming....and the company was great. Well ya just to remind you that breakfast is attached and he's not interested in me....how upsetting...He's interested in Nusrat cause on my main profile picture its both of us and when he realized that the girl he was attracted to was not me well he viewed her profile then....ok....well....then...I cried....but then....i got bored....then i thought...i haven't been able to tell anyone this...so its kept inside and then suddenly i realized something. Something awoken inside me.....the chess of love will move its next piece whenever it wants to but for now....i'm single and life goes on. =) And i love my life...why is it that when people are placed high above the ground they tend to think more clearer?

Sweet Lands

Why is it that the narcissitic part of people just seem to appear due to their incompetence in acknowledging the fact that everyone is equal and that they are not superior to anyone just by looking ok.....Gosh its like the world has turned inside out with the complete lack of immoral justice that we as citizens of this place called earth, we turn it to become some obstacle instead of something that brings meaning and joy to our otherwise pathetic lives. Well, turns out that grey cap had gone to gundu land and all that's left is Nerd and the lame excuses of yesterday....how is it that someone who strives to always and i mean always feel positive about life, how is it that one single mistake or a seed of self-doubt would change everything in a blink of an eye. So what is the reasoning behind all the foray and spy movies of today? Why do people need to be entertained by the simplistic reasons of 'Dude where's my car?' and the stupid inane mumblings that restrain all walks and curtains of life from fulfilling their highest ambitions.....waking up from catatonia land cause the black flags have been shown and soon the world would end....

The question is should I display my love on the walls of Orchard road or hide it inside the little hut in the green jungles in Kenya? What is the answer? I never seem to understand it, the power of love....it actually motivates and really love is great.....all the different types. Love, love.