Geography

They say life is a game we play, Act one is when we first met, then comes act two and then the story goes on and on and la di da. I have not blogged in a very long time and now I finally realise that I need to blog, I must blog, I have to blog because I feel the need to communicate with my computer. I swear My life would suck without you laptop....I need to name my laptop soon.....hmm....well, one might think I have no life and surf the networking sites everyday, but that is not the case....I really haven't checked facebook in a looooonggg time...meaning after this post I might go to check it and reply my lovely amazing friends......but I doubt it cause I really am this weird little soul wondering around contemplating the inner workings of the higher power, while being a devout practitioner in my faith. I live in moments of motherhood and am in the midst of preparing myself to face the wicked world out there. Ok what I needed to post is this.

Tonight, I, Noura Talib solemnly, wait I mean happily swear that I will not care if one of my best friends is lying to me and will not resort to juvenile means to procure the truth. That is a promise to myself and I mean to keep it. If you want to lie to me then so be it, but remember skeletons are only kept in the closet until the closet door opens. (like duh!) Gosh I'm a tad whacked out.....tired like shite but hey I needed to blog and here I am. Im freezing my butt now and I am glad, cause now I feel much better. I am not going to meddle with your life, if you wanna screw it up mixing with sluts and bitches then go ahead......I'm not fussed, I just don't see what you have in common with them.....and THAT pisses me off!

Tonight mixing with a older bunch of people made me realise that I need to stop this juvenile thinking and start to grow up, dream big dreams but know and understand that everything has its course. And most importantly, learn to relax, nothing comes easily but stop trying to rush everything, be an aussie, live free and easy. I doubt I will be able to do this....but hey I think I'm gonna have some choccies and curl up with my geography book.....don't laugh at me....I like geography! Synoptic chart and trenches....wind speed and erosion......there's this huge smile on my face, I am so weird I freak myself out. =)

Deals

Life is full of deals. Deals made with the devil, made with friends, made with lecturers, made with the boss, made with clients, made with horses, made with well, everything in this world and some from other worlds.



Today I made a deal which in turn made me a better person.



I made a deal with myself, to improve and to change and to never stop evolving myself to achieve the highest possible state of excellence in this world. They say people who stop learning are those who will live continually in the identical state of mind circling through life, never backing out of that rounded driveway, to the long road out there in the big world.



After interviewing an award winning scientist who made the world's most accurate clock at UWA, I realised that destiny can come knocking at your door but it only gets you to the right door. Its up to you to open the door and walk through and seal your fate.



This scientist is a genius who has never stopped in his continous search for information about life and science and the mysteries of the world out there. Michael Tobar made me open my eyes and realise that the world is filled with endless possibilities and various quandaries which will fill the path labelled life.



I always like the phrase 'born for each other' its nice thinking there's someone out there born just for you. To complete that other half missing from your soul, but I don't think my soul is cut into two, I just know that this perfect soulmate will complete me but that doesn't necessarily mean that my full potential as individual is cut when I haven't found that half. There's gotta be a meant to be for me out there. And when I find it, the events would teach that other side lessons of life. And that's a deal.

Noura Loves Stephen Rahman Hughes

OMGAWD! I just met Stephen Rahman Hughes and he was soooo nice! I mean yeah they are all supposed to be nice to fans but he was genuinely nice! =) Ok...Story....

First I heard from a cousin that Stephen Rahman-Hughes( Short form SRH aight?) was teaching some classes around Ampang Point. So since it was one of the things on the list of things that I have to do before leaving Malaysia I decided to act teenage booperish and become a stalkerazzi. *evil grinz* So I set of around 1.45pm from Kiren's place to go meet my cuz at Ampang Point. Upon reaching we waited in the car parked opposite the entrance of that particular studio and camera's at the ready to run down and ambush SRH. But then 3pm came and still no sign of him...mind you we waited for an hour....then Dah had to ciao and go meet her boyfriend, so she dropped me off at my car and left. Then there I was in my car wondering what to do....should I go up and ask if he came really early by myself or should I leave? In this dilemma I sat pondering in my car, then a lightbulb flashed and I messaged Neha to call me back. And she did with the answer to all my questions. Yes! She said go up there and ask...I mean what did I have to lose? Truer words never spoken.

So with Neha on the line I walked up three flights of stairs to the studio and in there I met Tiara Jaquelina teaching a whole bunch of little girls how to dance the malay traditional dance. Walking in pretending I belonged I looked around for SRH or the manager and tada! Ched comes by (the guy who owns the blog which my cuz found the info from) So I go up to him and tell him the 'story'. (I came all the way from Singapore and I am totally in love with SRH and his voice and I'm gonna miss his Feb play and that's why I wanted to meet him) well actually the story is pretty true except that I didn't come all the way down from Singapore...although that part can be misconstrued as true as well because I am Singaporean. Ok Ok enough gallivanting around unnessary information, then Ched said, ok well SRH will be here around 3.45pm to 4pm and you can wait for him downstairs, if you want.....So I said thanks loads dude! And ran the hell outta there and down to the toilet to check my appearance. ( Neha still on phone) This was 3pm then Neha told me she would call back at 3.30pm. Ok cool. So I got to getting ready, makeup, check. Hair, a total mess. Crap. Did the whole thing again, emptied my bladder and then strutted calmly outside. Then Neha called again. Started hanging out on the stairs and we just gossiped away lots of juicy stories, while this was happening Tiara Jaquelina came down and I said hello and she said hello, and I said you're looking pretty, and she said Thank you. So basically she nice.

Anyhow still no sign of Stephen, then a couple of PGL cast members started walking up and down totally eyeballing me, with the 'who are you?' look combined with the 'you are hot' look....well anyhow I decided to ask one chick the obvious question, we had quite and interlude and this was how it went.

Me- " Say are you in Puteri Gunung Ledang?"
She- "Yeah"
Me- "Is Stephen Rahman Hughes gonna be here later?"
She- "Yeah he is....why do you need him?"
Me- *The story*
She- "Oh well he's definetely coming!"

Then she walks up the stairs and at the top she turns around and asks me for my name. I say Noura and then I say

"Please don't mock me later as the girl on the stairs or something!"
She- "No I totally get where you're coming from"
Me- "Thanks!"

Well....she was rehelly nice and I think she was interested to find out what I was doing there...probably thought I was a reporter or something. Anyhoo....still no sign of Stephen.

Then.................while in the midst of convo with Neha..................................

I see him climbing two steps at a time, and his first words were, "What can I do for you love?"
(I heart the language of the Brits) And I went " OMG! OMG! OMG!"
Then he looked up and went " Oh...ah...." Like he understood I was a fan. And then he was beside me. Looking into my face and he said, " Well, I'm kindda in a rush, I've got a class to teach but....What's your name?" and he stretched out his hand to shake. And I took his hand and I stammered "Noura", then I said "OMG I'm like your biggest fan....can I get a picture please?" and he said "Alright Phil take a picture for us please." And then....ok you know what I'm gonna do the whole script mode thing again.

Me- "Here you go, oh wait can I be on that side its my better angle"
SRH- " Oh Noura, that's your better angle huh Noura?" in this mocking tone while smiling alot!
Me- *Giggling like a schoolgirl* Takes picture then.... "Can I get a hug?"
SRH- "Yes of course Noura"

Moment I will never forget for my entire life. He actually crushed me with his amazingly toned body and beautifully tanned hands! =)

Me- "OMG I mean I just came down from singapore......(you know what happens)"
SRH- *smiling alot and nodding and he looked kindda shock when I said all the way down from SPore...lols....
Me- "Can I get another hug?"
SRH-" Yes of course"

This one was amazing.....I heart Stephen!

Then while breaking apart his friend kept on snapping pictures. =) So I said, oh can I get one hugging Stephen and he said ok.

Another moment of absolute bliss.

And while breaking apart...
Me- "Did you get it?"
Malay friend looks confused....
Me- " Its alright then....no worries"

Looking at this minah tudung who came to join the foray.
SRH- "Oh you want pictures too? Ok Cepat Cepat"

Taking pics with this Minah tudung he looked really normal. Then after their picture taking.

SRH- " So Noura will I be seeing you in February?"
Me-" No"
SRH- "Why?"
Me-" Cause I'm leaving to study in australia and then I'm going to Dubai and I cant leave my parents side cause I'm kindda young"
SRH- *grins*
Me-"Omg I absolutely love your voice, its entrancing and your voice is timeless, OMG I had this entire speech done but its just gone outta my head!"
SRH- "Its ok Noura."
Phil- " We gotta go now Stephen"
Malay Friend of theirs to me- " Do you wanna come up?"
Me- "No, its ok"

Stephen looks to me again....and says "It was nice meeting you Noura."
Me- *smiles*

Then he was walking up the stairs, his friends were ahead of him he was last...ahem ahem.

Me- " Stephen?"
He stops and turns around ( his friends are gone)
Me- " I will definetely go to your shows in the future so please don't stop doing what you do"
SRH- "Will do" *smiles widely

Then at the top of the stairs he turns and smiles again to me. I swear my legs fell loose.

Ok I'm not saying anything but....I think Stephen Rahman Hughes might think that I'm kindda attractive. I mean when you repeat the person's name that means you want to impress the person, why would he want to impress me? Unless....he thinks I'm kindda hot? Ok neways this is one of the best experiences of my life so far.....I had a decent convo with a West End celebrity and he seemed to enjoy it too! Well, this means that my future in Journalism is sealed, I CAN talk to celebrities as normal people. Which by the way I couldn't two years ago.....hence my stammering at Akon (Lonely) and Najib Ali (Major Moment cause I watch his show Asia Bagus since I was 8 until the time I left to Perth)

Anyhoo....this one went fine (I think). He'll probably think I'm some psycho fan (Which I'm not) I just wanted to meet the dude before I left, so I can cross him off my list of things to do before I leave Malaysia.

He was on that list cause the night I was making that particular list I was talking about how every time I play the name game, I use Stephen Rahman-Hughes's name and then an idea came to me, while I was working as a reporter meeting Malaysian celebs was easy, so why not SRH? Especially since he hasn't boomed in Malaysia yet, so I wrote it down, Meet Stephen Rahman Hughes. Right after Paint 'my life in malaysia'.

So there, I was stumped, but well, who cares right I mean it was just a list, then my cuz Dah came over to my house and viewed the list on my computer documents and told me about the website in which she saw that SRH was conducting a Bootcamp. So all excited I went online and realised the dateline for entry had passed. =( Me so sad....but more concerntrating upon my Birthday Party in which I was gonna turn 21! But then after my partay was over I got to thinking about the list again and the plan erupted. Seriously, it was more of luck and coincidence than anything, it was meant to happen. So I met Stephen Rahman Hughes and he's georgeous with a totally 'kelftaer' accent. Oh and I want Teatro's Cd......even though I'm no psycho fan, I like the guy's voice....ALOT!

And I will continue on my journey into becoming the CNN and muslim version of Christiane Amanpour!

And why can't he be 27 or something? Then maybe....someday......ok zip it Noura, you need no distractions. And he's close to 40 or so they say. So that's it then.

And I can talk to celebrities who I fancy!

Ain't that dandy?

Arab Girl

-The father wrote the scheme of your life a long time ago, go and live in ahidey hole if you like but you won't run from it. Fear profits man nothing.- Thirteenth Warrior


Parents, they never comprehend the depth in which their words impact those around them, namely, the children. Having arab parents from both sides ultimately defines me to be the absolute, arab child, or in this case in point, arab girl. Though that arab girl imagery is just that, an illusion, an event of which the west can portray those poor locked up women, thus hantaming all their evil machoistic male counterparts without a conscience to their name.

Anyhoo, here I am an arab girl, emotional detached from that portion of my life in which I am duly bounded by, the ties of race, struggling to seek for completion in all the wrong places, from the pasty white characters splash across magazines and televisions screens to the brown, black and yellow minions whom surround my everyday palace and sanctuary. To whom do I acknowledge this lack in feasible race definition to? Parents.

When you tell your child, "You look so dark you could be a tamilan" and "Did you know the roti man dropped you off when you were a baby?" (the roti man in almost all parts of singapore at that time was almost always indian and dark) Anyhoo, I did not mean I don't like being dark, I don't care about skin colour, but if you are arab and a girl, being dark means you can never be known as the pretty one, you'll almost always be called hitam manis. (translated to Sweet Dark) Just another reason why I detest proclaming myself to be an arab.

Well, the roti man story, oh ya, there comes a time when life comes a knocking when you're nine and you've just gone on you're first official chaperoned 'date' (My first ever was with my school friend who I used to play eye-eye with, the second one was with two brothers...yup you heard right two of them, though all of the above are now what some would call eligible...not interested) you start to ponder on the truth of where you actually came from, and at such a youthful tender age, being completely different than your fairer elder sisters, the storyline of cinderella comes to play and life itself becomes much easier to comprehend when your dad is the roti man. Then in comes the measurement of self-worth and value, where countless of people measure strength, attractiveness based upon their own personal deductions due to their 'gila' reactions telling them to base their world upon their memories.

Anyhoo again, growing up with Hindi movies and everyone referencing you to Prieti and Kajol, the curveball that life threw your path seems easier to catch and realisation hits. The lack of arabness in my life ( I don't even know how to speak it) can fully be blamed unto myself and a lil upon the shoulders of my parents. If you want something run until it can be caught and when its finally yours, well nothing is truly yours in this world cause life, and parents their both for rent until the next. So make the best of this rental space, and continually evolve yourself for the better never fearing the consequences but ultimately remember who you are.

p.s. Noura, You Are An ARAB Girl.

Losing Colours

I'm patching up all the holes in the wash basin, cause it can't stop
leaking .....drip....drip.....drip......the sound of the water is really annoying me.
Disfunctionality runs in my familial genes, is that the scizophrenic cousin who dances out of tune with the world?

The only thing I hear is the beating of the heart, the steadily pumping, never ending thumps. Thump, thump, thump.....inhale, Oxygen. My heart is awakening as the walls come tumbling down, crashing around me, all that's left is a rubble, dust, destruction.

Being swept away by the breeze, flying across the open ocean with the pigeons.....their wings flapping away....flap, flap, flap....whistling sounds ringing through my ears.....what would I pay for silence.....

Quiet contemplation, oh how I love to use those words......why do people who know that they are good looking turn to be narcissistic fools? Why does Nitam never understand that sometimes life is not all black and white? Grey Matter.....its always grey......life is always grey. Ramadhan is approaching and I need to quit the blood stains, why don't you want me to sambut the fasting month? If I get to fast tommorrow well, I would pray tarawih and tahajjud every night......and to top it all off, i'll loose weight and do exercises too! And I (Inshallah) would finish reading the Quraan by the end of this holy month.........give me strength to forget those who would never remember me anyway. I need to know if you forgive me.....

Silence, 2am and its all quiet......yippee! Oh no! I miss the noise. Amir.....Oh no! Cat! RARA!!!!

Need to call my sis......something happened but mom won't tell me what.....

Eyesight

There is this phase where everyone would pass in life where, you want to feel loved and needed but at the same time you're all out for fun. So where are you really? Stuck in the middle somewhere, confusion and loneliness intermingles with the thirst of adventure and the unknown. So how can you move ahead? and how can you turn back? There comes this day where all you see is colours, different myriads of shapes crossing the sky, lightning flashes, distant thunder rolls darkly. Those stuck in the car and driving without a purpose down a slippery winding road. the raindrops patter the roof, of course back at the passenger seat, so you can view the world passing by quickly.

Y'know i always thought that i could find someone who can be seen as a true man. A person who would make friends with all people no matter their physical appearance and tolerate the atttitudes that suck. Someone who cared deeply for a cause other than sex. Though in these times, that kindda person is hard press for money. Not that i'm desperately searching and seeking someone to love, no, just to be friends with, cause i'm so sick of female companionship. Somedays, you need a fresh perspective. well, that's all i guess.

In order to finally be humans we gotta know what humans should be.
I seem to be looking for completion in all the wrong places, maybe my eyesight has gone bad, but maybe the signs are not pointing in the right path.

Goodnight, but is it really a good night?