Appointment with Death

She had an appointment with death,
At three o'clock the nurse scheduled in the time
I saw in her face the fear unsheathed
And she walked towards me with tears in her eyes
I sat on the plastic chairs
In the disinfectant white rooms
My veins pumping despair
And her footsteps proclaimed doom.
I called out but no words came through
She walked with her head drawn down
Stood in front of me and said
Let's get the hell out of town
Dr death can sit patiently and wait
Cause I'm not going down without a fight
Now let's leave and we'll soon fix me up
I promise you everything will be alright
With a skip in my step and hope in my heart
I walked blindly along the path of fate
She had an appointment with death
But she was going to attend it damn late.

The beggining of my poetry for grandma. Miss you Baba. Miss your rare smiles and your fresh smell in the mornings when I used to bath you. Alfatiha. Love you always.

Love is a scam

Im very blase about love and 'like' today. Not for anything....but for the one reason. Love is a scam designed to manipulate people into feeling emotions that they could feel for anyone. Once similarities or blatant chemistry is felt immediately people in general rush into love like blind fools because the world tells them that love is the greatest magic this world possesses. But I believe that love between man and woman is the greatest scam of the 21st century.

Our forefathers, heck my best friends parents (well one of my best friends) got arranged marriages and tada! They are extremely happy and contented individuals. I personally believe not in arrange marriages (though I do concede they do work sometimes) but in having no marriage constituition and that marriages was placed just so people would procreate. If one day society were to procreate without having marriages, then they would lose sense of self and God and get lost in the insatiable wanton lust of sex. Therefore I believe in too many things but one thing I staunchly believe right now is this. LOVE is a SCAM! So anyone in love or beggining to like anyone alot stop yourself because you will be able to feel the same way about tons of people....don't tie yourself down to one. And yes I am pist of at someone, but at the end of the day its his loss. Not mine. I've got too much to live for....but after the sex and the city session with ma girls and our love hate rants over drinks I had to blog this. Firstly....i gotta start a professional website which i will after i talk to Nabil and secondly...that LOVE IS A SCAM!!! Feel soo much better now. =D

Falling Slowly

The day you called my cousin and came over
A smile, a hello then a phone number
A girl can only wait for two days mister
Any longer and its c'ya later.
Your bangle fits the circle of my palms
Like Medusa's snakes on her head, the black rope on my arm
The concerto plays Elvis's can't help falling on repeat
Suddenly the heart doth not walk but crawls then leaps
I don't know you but I want you all the more for that
The bus skips four stops and drives straight to your station
Ambidextrous hands play puppetry with one and pushes away the mimickry with the other
The aorta thumps continually evolving with external derivatives
And suddenly the world plugs up all the hustle and bother
There is silence and the autumn leaves change to winter...
And lips that sealed hidden whispers and secrets spill out their desires
For there is nothing that can fan down this inner lightning fire
The thunder roars for Nefertiti's beauty cannot surpass its warning
One tiptoe and peek out the front door and the heart began opening
But what if the risk was seen and unheeded, and then celebrated
What is time on earth if not to be endured and berated?
Admonishing the dire signs that could destroy the soul and break the walls
Jumping into the fray relishing in the glory of bloody wars and catcalls
Exposing the soul to the greatest magic the world possesses in its grasp
Reviewing the previous list with a renewed vigour demolishing constraints
Leap from the castle walls and burn it down into the dust
Lancelot and Guinevere ran from the societal norms and restraints
Love has arrived and with it came friendship and fun flirtatious jokes
This time round the winner will be me, one punch, two punches, KO
The blessing from the man above and from the old ancient folks
Makes this love or whatever its called a feeling of jubilation
celebration
perspiration
anticipation
hallucination
and finally completion.
For the pearl of Baloch has opened my heart again,
and though this may or may'nt amount to anything.
The walls are broken and the dragon slain.
And as Bok ti would say, 'Jangan main sendiri lagi Ling!'


This song is exactly how I feel right now.....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y_LALGvMlfU&feature=related

Past Mistakes

I can't fall in love. I can't fall in like. I can't fall. There's always something in my way. And I just realise that something is me. I always stop and look down, get scared and turn around. I can't burden someone else with my baggage, can't forget the past mistakes I made. I don't regret but I don't forget. And I don't think I will ever find someone that can push me of the ledge and watch me spiral downwards, I know that I will catch myself. I can't forget my past.....I can't fall in love.

This song has been on repeat for hours.....and I can't sleep.......
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b0JD8LHPlTI

p.s. Emy got married today, I am truly happy for her. I don't even know why I'm putting this in. I guess its to remember the date. Lolz.

Geography

They say life is a game we play, Act one is when we first met, then comes act two and then the story goes on and on and la di da. I have not blogged in a very long time and now I finally realise that I need to blog, I must blog, I have to blog because I feel the need to communicate with my computer. I swear My life would suck without you laptop....I need to name my laptop soon.....hmm....well, one might think I have no life and surf the networking sites everyday, but that is not the case....I really haven't checked facebook in a looooonggg time...meaning after this post I might go to check it and reply my lovely amazing friends......but I doubt it cause I really am this weird little soul wondering around contemplating the inner workings of the higher power, while being a devout practitioner in my faith. I live in moments of motherhood and am in the midst of preparing myself to face the wicked world out there. Ok what I needed to post is this.

Tonight, I, Noura Talib solemnly, wait I mean happily swear that I will not care if one of my best friends is lying to me and will not resort to juvenile means to procure the truth. That is a promise to myself and I mean to keep it. If you want to lie to me then so be it, but remember skeletons are only kept in the closet until the closet door opens. (like duh!) Gosh I'm a tad whacked out.....tired like shite but hey I needed to blog and here I am. Im freezing my butt now and I am glad, cause now I feel much better. I am not going to meddle with your life, if you wanna screw it up mixing with sluts and bitches then go ahead......I'm not fussed, I just don't see what you have in common with them.....and THAT pisses me off!

Tonight mixing with a older bunch of people made me realise that I need to stop this juvenile thinking and start to grow up, dream big dreams but know and understand that everything has its course. And most importantly, learn to relax, nothing comes easily but stop trying to rush everything, be an aussie, live free and easy. I doubt I will be able to do this....but hey I think I'm gonna have some choccies and curl up with my geography book.....don't laugh at me....I like geography! Synoptic chart and trenches....wind speed and erosion......there's this huge smile on my face, I am so weird I freak myself out. =)

Deals

Life is full of deals. Deals made with the devil, made with friends, made with lecturers, made with the boss, made with clients, made with horses, made with well, everything in this world and some from other worlds.



Today I made a deal which in turn made me a better person.



I made a deal with myself, to improve and to change and to never stop evolving myself to achieve the highest possible state of excellence in this world. They say people who stop learning are those who will live continually in the identical state of mind circling through life, never backing out of that rounded driveway, to the long road out there in the big world.



After interviewing an award winning scientist who made the world's most accurate clock at UWA, I realised that destiny can come knocking at your door but it only gets you to the right door. Its up to you to open the door and walk through and seal your fate.



This scientist is a genius who has never stopped in his continous search for information about life and science and the mysteries of the world out there. Michael Tobar made me open my eyes and realise that the world is filled with endless possibilities and various quandaries which will fill the path labelled life.



I always like the phrase 'born for each other' its nice thinking there's someone out there born just for you. To complete that other half missing from your soul, but I don't think my soul is cut into two, I just know that this perfect soulmate will complete me but that doesn't necessarily mean that my full potential as individual is cut when I haven't found that half. There's gotta be a meant to be for me out there. And when I find it, the events would teach that other side lessons of life. And that's a deal.

Say Never

Never say never, or so they say, sometimes it will come and bite you in the pantat and then where will you turn to? The sky up there stated clearly that there is a plan for your life and everything that happens, occurs for a reason, which may not be explainable and translucent now but it will become clear one day. Sometimes I fear that lying and kelingtonging myself out of dodgy situations may act upon the laws of karma, will whack me with the final hit and then absolute blackout.

Acting upon a whim I decided to go and stalk Stephen Rahman-Hughes and now if (and this is hypothetically for now) if I were to become famous, this same star will always remember me as the crazed fan on the staircase. I truly doubt he'll ever see me as a young woman worthy to be loved, all he'll remember is this psycho chick waiting on the staircase, to do what exactly? Anyhow call it a moment of true love, or just a moment of true passion, or just a moment of insanity, whatever the label it was acting upon a whim. So, what happens when you think with your heart more than your mind? Well, you look dorky and a complete doofus. (what is wrong with my vocabulary? Can't think right now....)

I said that I would never do 'it' unless I have a ring on my finger and the man who is allowed to worship this body of mine would be my husband bonded to me with ties of marriage, fidelity and security. Sp far Alhamdullillah, I have made it through all the tests He has given to me in reference to this topic and remained pure for my Mr Right. I believe that one can say never , and that it only depends upon the question of how deep are you in your own morals and attitudes, are the walls tough or can they bend and break?

So the point of all this is to state a fact that everyone should learn from my mistake.....don't get influenced from your heart, follow your mind, and leave true love to the pages of fairytales. Then and only then, can you finally, say never.