Past Mistakes

I can't fall in love. I can't fall in like. I can't fall. There's always something in my way. And I just realise that something is me. I always stop and look down, get scared and turn around. I can't burden someone else with my baggage, can't forget the past mistakes I made. I don't regret but I don't forget. And I don't think I will ever find someone that can push me of the ledge and watch me spiral downwards, I know that I will catch myself. I can't forget my past.....I can't fall in love.

This song has been on repeat for hours.....and I can't sleep.......
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b0JD8LHPlTI

p.s. Emy got married today, I am truly happy for her. I don't even know why I'm putting this in. I guess its to remember the date. Lolz.

It

Well signs of today turning out to my favour is slim, the forbidden fruits on the other side of the pastures are untouchable and that makes me want it even more. And yet im too scared to reach out for it. Too afraid to want something and go for it, maybe that's why God (s.w.t) didn't allow the road to be paved for a reason, maybe I don't really want it, don't really want everything to do with it. And yes, It is something for me to know and you to never find out.

So it, well, its weird sometimes I can't stop thinking about it and yet when the signs are all negative i despise it and when there are the moments of happiness, that slim ray of light it makes my whole world =)

And well, today i realised something ( a) I always use the word realise and (b) I really don't like It. and that's that, I'm confident enough to go across that border and get It, no matter the cost.